Weepy, Weary, Whiny Wednesday....

Whatever you want to call it, it just sucks.  My blog posts have been so positive and I think I need to show everyone the other side of this.  Wednesday's are tough here at the Biggest Loser Resort - whether it is your 1st, 2nd or 8th week.  Wine Wednesday no longer exists in my life.  But Whiny Wednesday does.  I am tired today, very tired.  Every step feels like I have a 15 pound weight attached to my foot. And I cannot stop yawning - even after cardio class (which normally gives me the endorphin rush to get me thru the day).  I am also a jerk today - bad mood Sally.

And of course, today - we had the jerkiest, asshole hike of the last 1 1/2 weeks.  Newton Canyon. That bitch.  Up and down hills, up, up, up, up hills, down, down, down hills.  And its the worst type of hike because it is not a loop.  It's a there and back. Which means --- all those awesome down hills you had on the way out become up hills on the way back.  Do you know what that can do to you mentally as you are going out on the hike? All you can think about as you are going down a steep incline, is that you are going to have to come back up it.  Needless to say, when the hiking guide asked me how the hike was going, I said "It f*cking sucks - I hate Newton Canyon".  I disliked it so much that even when I was done with it, I didn't even feel a sense of accomplishment - I just gave it the double finger.  I was in such a bad mood about it, I didn't even take a picture of me giving the sign the double finger.  You know it is bad when I don't take advantage of an instagram situation.  I didn't even want to listen to the guide telling me I kickass - you know why, because it was that much of an asshole hike. (Is everyone getting my mood today?)

The thing is I am glad I am in a bad mood.  You cannot be happy and positive and cheery all the time.  Even in situations like this.  You have to allow yourself to feel the bad mood.  Its how you grow up mentally. Its how you get out of your head - you learn that you have to work thru the tough times in life.

And honestly, I am missing things.  I miss my bed. I miss my friends. I miss my family.  I miss going to restaurants.  I miss wine. I miss martinis.  I even miss work (man, my head is really f*cked up).  I miss coffee. I miss sugar.  I think this detox is really hitting me.

But I chose this and this too shall pass.  I have kickboxing this afternoon and hopefully I can get some frustrations out  - even if my little short stumps I call legs cannot reach the kickboxing bag to kick it.

What am I learning from this (because there is always a lesson to be learned).  Exercising and being healthy is alot harder than putting the weight on.  It's ok to be in a bad mood but you still have to exercise. You have to put the work in otherwise there will be no results.  No results brings constant unhappiness.  So I will allow myself the bad mood today - Today I am going to be selfish and give in to that emotion.  But tomorrow is another day, tomorrow I will get up and do it all again with a smile on my face.